Showcase of some optical illusion and renewable energy technology in a museum in Amsterdam

My husband is not a fan of movies full of dialogues between two persons, so I spent time alone watching movies like Marriage Story, Lovely Man, or I’m Thinking about Ending Things. I like to hear people talking in meetings. I love to observe people in trains and stations. We can see through them a lot when people talk to each other; the emotions, the hatred or love, or the expectations. Sometimes it sucks, though, when you can see through a person and find things you did not expect before, but the truth is more satisfying in the end. However, among all those kinds of movies, I think Malcolm & Marie captivated me the most. The core problem is the man forgot to give credit to his long-time girlfriend in the speech of his most acclaimed movie. I enjoyed how the man thinks it is a very small matter compared to all that he’s done for the woman, while the woman thinks otherwise. At the end of the day they might be together again or not, but the nice thing is that to find someone we can talk about something over and over, maybe through an emotional roller-coaster, but it is the best thing in life because we’ll spend our entire life talking with our partner.

Speaking of credits, I think science organizations have been talking about this in recent years. I’ve seen numerous efforts in eradicating parachute science (one journal now has a requirement to include local authors if the study is conducted abroad, and some donors have eliminated the Western counterpart requirement). Maybe in some industries like art or technology, it’s quite hard to define how big credit is that needs to be considered, but in science, it’s more clear. Original ideas, conception, and initial foundation need to be credited.

I want to tell you the heartbreaking story of Mileva Marić, the first wife of Albert Einstein. I’d never heard of her until I watched Genius: The Series. Then I learned about her from articles and news and found out that her contributions to Einstein’s works started to be considered when there was proof of letters and other correspondences. She was left being a housewife when his husband was busy with all the inventions and pursuit of the Nobel prize. He was free to go to the library, thinking, and discussing with his fellow scientists, and she was left at the house - and later cheated. I think that’s not only cheating in romance but also in career and academic achievements. Einstein has stolen a woman’s brilliance, making her an assistant to his papers, and never mentioned it to the public.

The series might have exaggeration in some parts (and that’s okay), but one thing that I’m sure of: she was raised by an egalitarian father who supported her brilliance and passion for the science of physics and told her to never depend on any man to succeed. I’m so sure because I have two fathers in life that told me so. My biological father told me to get a good job, write, win competitions, and outsmart others. To have my own savings, to never have a debt besides a house mortgage, to go places on my own, to learn to drive well, and to not cry when life fails me. My other father, a professor, taught me to stand on my own feet, to be a good researcher without being a jerk, and to get the justice I deserve. He has taught and shown me what academic integrity means by giving me all the spotlight I deserve, stepping aside from all first-author places when it’s truly mine.

Integrity and ethics are like domestic abuse: it’s running in circles. When you've been shown once by people you respect, you’ll do one. If someone stole your spotlight in the past, there is a big chance you’ll do it someday to someone less powerful than you. Power tends to corrupt - numerous studies have proved this.

I believe that not all people in the world are kind. The world is full of liars and cheaters, including in academia and the science industry - just like what I found in my studies. People want to maximize their own profits compared to the greater good. Some of them are intentionally mean, and others are forced by situations. My respect for Einstein now is solely due to his predictions of the universe, but my view of him as a decent man has gone somewhere because what he did, I think, was not unintentional. In real life, I feel fortunate because never in my life do I feel bad about cutting ties with these intelligent but toxic people. It’s been a long time since I don’t rely my happiness on a single person. I am okay with being left with only some people around who are able to provide proper credit to others. I know I won’t be alone anyway.  

In this world full of jerks, the least we can do is not be one.